OK – this is where things start getting little racey! Don’t say I didn’t warn you 😉
Was it possible to want someone this badly? Kim had never experienced a feeling like it, she ached for this man. Savouring the feel of his hands on her, the warmth of them on her bare skin, his sexy, spicy aroma flooding her senses… this was heaven. Kiss me. She willed him to place his full lips on her… I want you, kiss me…
“Crap, is that the time?”
Kim opened her eyes, Kye was looking past her and at the clock reflected in her dressing table mirror.
“It’s Friday,” Kim said, “No work tomorrow…” It was getting late – almost midnight.
“I really should get to bed,” Kye said, dragging his hand through his hair and then tousling it up.
Dammit! Just kiss me!! “Oh… Ok…” Kim said, trying to hide her disappointment.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “I hope talking to me has helped make you feel better…”
Well it did… I’d feel even better if you’d just frickking kiss me already!!
“It has, Thank you…”
“I have an interview tomorrow…” Kye explained, “Or else I’d stay for longer, but I really don’t want to screw it up… I need to get saving if I ever want to travel…”
Kim nodded, “Oh wow! An interview! That’s great!” and she meant it.
“Ok, well goodnight Kim,” Kye started to walk to the door.
“Night Kye, thank you for listening to me…”
Turning, Kye approached her once more and pulled her into a hug, again Kim’s skin tingled at his touch and she felt her heart pounded in her ears.
“Things will get better,” he whispered in her ear, sending shivers of pleasure pulsating down her spine. “You’ll get past this rough patch and then look back and wonder why you let it hurt you so much…”
Kim nodded into his shoulder, knowing he was right but also that it didn’t stop her feeling so bitter at this moment in time.
“… and you won’t need to go on blind dates…” Kye went on, “You’ll find a perfect man who’ll look after you without you having to sign up for dating sites…”
I already found him…
Kye broke their embrace.
“See you in the morning,” he smiled and Kim nodded mutely.
As her bedroom door clicked shut Kim caught her reflection in the mirror, and for the first time in weeks she realised how much weight she’d lost, it looked good on her but she still hadn’t lost her haunted look… she still looked like a woman in mourning… but then she supposed that was because she was.
Sitting in front of the mirror, she starred at the person reflected there.
What’s wrong with me? She thought, taking in her features, turning her head to see her face from every angle. Why can’t I find a man? Someone to be there for me? To help me? To take me away so I can forget Ann Arbor and everything that’s happened here…
Suddenly she felt guilty, not you though, Mum. I’ll never forget you.
Kim turned in the covers, first to her right, sighing audibly. The hot summer night was making sleep an impossibility. Turning to her left and huffing, she threw the covers off her body – it was too hot and she was sweaty – her pink camisole and shorts stuck to her uncomfortably.
Groaning, she grabbed her pillow and gave it a couple of hard punches, taking her frustration out on the cotton material and goose down.
Spinning around she lay on her back, starring at the ceiling in front of her, listening as the birds began their dawn chorus, welcoming a brand new day.
Sighing again, she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. It was no use, she was tired, but her mind was alive – images of Kye floated in front of her eyes, thoughts of what could have been, what still could be. Kim brushed a strand of hair away from her face, only it stuck to her forehead – she swiped at it irritably.
Swallowing, her throat was dry, her tongue like sandpaper… perhaps after a drink she’d feel a little more sleepy?
Creeping out of her room, she cringed as the floor boards squeaked and groaned with every footstep, protesting her presence. Approaching the top of the stairs she raised her eyes to heaven when she heard –
“Kim? Can you come in?”
Kye was calling from his bedroom.
Kim paused at the top of the stairs, did she really hear that?
“Kim? Are you there?” his voice sounded worried, desperate.
Turning the cold brass door handle, she crept into his room – her old room, and saw him lying atop the covers in nothing but his boxer shorts, Kim’s eyes greedily took in his semi- naked form and she felt herself blush as her eyes swept over his body.
“Shut the door,” he commanded with a cheeky smile.
As if a puppet, and he her master, she obediently shut the door behind her and turned to face him.
“Take it off,” his voice was barely a whisper, and she knew he meant her camisole.
Kim swallowed, feeling warmth spread through her body, her desire for him strong… she removed her top, feeling goose pimples prickle all over as she stood naked and exposed – topless – in front of her Adonis.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, and he beckoned her.
Suddenly she was next to him, naked on his bed – his strong toned legs wrapped around her- holding her in place, his breath ragged with wanting, his hands exploring her back and her buttocks.
“I’m here for you,” he whispered, and Kim nodded, kissing his face, exploring his mouth with her tongue, she brought up her leg, eager to sit atop him- to straddle him – eager for them to be closer, for them to be one.
As she sat there, feeling his hardness pressed against her she whispered – “Take me.”
Kye looked into her green eyes, and Kim felt as though he was starring directly into her soul, seeing her for who she really was and loving that person.
Kye opened his mouth to speak and he whispered lovingly… “Waffles….” ?!!!
Kim opened her eyes and sat up suddenly. It was 7:30am, and she’d been dreaming.
Of course she had. Of course that was a dream. It would only happen in a sodding dream!!
“Waffles?” She said aloud, shaking her head, “Waffles?” and she laughed, pulling her golden brown hair away from her face.
So be it… and after getting dressed she headed downstairs to make waffles for their breakfast.
After making their breakfast, Kim set two places at the table and started to eat her meal. It was delicious, but it would be even more divine if Kye were sat with her.
Right on cue, he appeared.
“How do I look?” he asked her with a shy smile.
He placed his hands in his pockets, clearly feeling unsettled and uncomfortable about his pending job interview.
Kim smiled at him, remembering her dream and imagining his body undressed before her. “You look perfect,” she said, devouring his muscles with her eyes.
“I made waffles,” she said, pointing at the plate before her.
“Oh, thanks but I have to go, my interview is at 8:30…”
“Wow, that’s early…”
“I’ll see you later though…” and with a wave he was gone.
I must be going mad, Kim thought as she starred at the breakfast she’d lovingly prepared – her appetite evaporated.
Did we not have a moment last night? Did I dream that too? And she sighed.
It was already warm out, the August sun was hot and inviting, if a little oppressive this morning.
Kim had taken to jogging when she could; the simple action of running gave her time to think and helped relieve any stress she might have been hanging on to, not to mention it helped with her weight loss.
Jogging down the footpath, her feet slapping the pavement methodically, Kim turned the corner to hear raised voices, people arguing?
“I told you not to come here!” a woman was saying, she wasn’t yelling but it was clear she was upset with someone.
“Well don’t worry, because it won’t be happening again!” a man’s voice replied, a voice which Kim recognised… but from where?
Deciding it was probably best to keep her head down, Kim passed the house, sneakily taking a look to see what all the fuss was about.
As she turned, she was shocked to see Wang Zute and Sebastian Sherland – her boss and her colleague- stood on the porch of a modern looking house.
Quickly, Kim turned away, this was the last thing she needed.
“Kim!” Seb called, jogging down the porch steps and exiting the front garden by swiftly jumping the white picket fence.
Kim heard the front door slam closed, and really hoped Wang hadn’t seen her.
Seb was smiling as he approached – he look genuinely pleased to see her.
“Seb!” Kim feigned surprise, “How are you?” she jogged on the spot, keen to keep her heart rate up.
“I’m great,” Seb said, “You just out for a jog?”
“Yeah, been trying to keep it up, not easy though…” she smiled, “What’s new with you?” she looked past him and at the grand house in which Wang was currently living.
“Oh,” Seb dragged his hand through his blond hair, “I just needed to drop some paperwork off at Wang’s…” he chuckled, “She was less than impressed to see me stood on her doorstep… apparently her husband keeps her under lock and key when she’s not at work…”
I frowned… that would explain why she was such a bitch. “Wow, I didn’t even know she was married.”
“Yeah, it’s not been for long,” Seb said, “think it’s probably best I go though, he’s due back home soon…”
Kim nodded, she was eager to get to the gym. “Listen,” Seb looked past her, down the street. “Please don’t say anything to anyone about me being here? Wang will just make things difficult for me at work if her husband finds out…”
“Oh, god…” Kim said, “Of course, I’ll pretend we never saw each other,” and she smiled at him reassuringly.
“Thanks, Kim…” he touched her shoulder, “See you Monday?”
“Sure thing…” and with that he turned on his heel and left.
It was quiet at the gym, despite it being a Saturday morning.
Kim quickly got changed into her gym clothes and headed for the treadmill; she was getting more confident using the machine now she was getting fitter.
As she ran she thought about Kye, and about their encounter from the previous evening. He had been so caring, so kind. Kim hadn’t been able to speak to anyone about that evening, not even Lily-May, but that was mostly to do with Adam.
How could she be this crazy about a man? Sure, she’d had other boyfriends; she’d even been in love before, but nothing like this.
Do I love Kye? She asked herself, frowning at her reflection in the mirror and blowing her fringe out of her eyes. No, I don’t love him, how can I? I barely know him! So why do I feel like he’s been here forever? It all felt so otherworldly to her – this want, this need for another human being, just the thought of his touch sent rushes of desire coursing through her body. It’s not like anything can happen, she scolded herself, he’s moving as soon as he’s got the money, he wants to travel, to be away from this country…
Kim jogged for a little while longer, before deciding it was time for a trip to Lily-May’s. Lil was a constant rock in her life; after Kim’s mother died Lil had done everything in her power to help Kim feel happier.
Retrieving her bag from the lockers, Kim exited the changing room and headed for the stairs ready to leave the building when she did a double take. “Kye?” she whispered, seeing familiar red hair and broad shoulders.
Approaching him she sat next time him on one of the gym sofas.
“Hey,” he smiled, he looked extremely nervous.
“What are you doing here?” she smiled, pleased to see him.
“Oh, my interview is here..” he replied, twiddling his thumbs, “I think I find out today whether I got the job or not…”
“Wow, that’s great!” Kim said enthusiastically, she knew he was into fitness so a job at the local gym would be perfect for him. (Not to mention for her!)
“Yeah…” Kye replied, deep in thought… he cleared his throat uneasily – he seemed to be avoiding eye contact. Is he… is he uncomfortable because I’m here? Kim thought – cold dread in her gut.
Kye said nothing more; he turned and looked out of the window.
Kim frowned, he was probably just nervous because of his interview.
“Ok, well I’ll see you at home?” she said, deciding she’d better go, but feeling like she might choke on her words.
“Yeah, see you,” he said dismissively.
As she exited the building, Kim digested the exchange she had just made. What a difference a night makes. Had he really been uncomfortable about her being there? Or was it just because of his interview? Was she being self absorbed? Oh probably. That was probably it, Kim forced a smile, but she didn’t feel happier, she still felt pangs of doubt in her middle.
Kim pulled up outside her best friend’s bungalow.
The air hung heavy and muggy, thick with heat and dark clouds gathered ominously on the horizon threatening a much needed thunderstorm. Kim touched her brow she felt cold sweat there, maybe she could use Lil’s shower? Lil wouldn’t mind.
“Hellooooo?” she called into the house as she entered, it smelt of cooking and comfort.
A little voice answered her from somewhere within – one of the twins. “Ewoooooo!!” he called back and Kim chuckled, placing her car keys on the hallway table. Kim loved her best friend’s house, it was warm and inviting.
The television was chattering in the lounge so Kim figured that was where her best friend must be, but as she entered the room she was surprised to see Adam Sabine sat in the arm chair, not Lily-May.
“Adam?” Kim said accusation in her voice, what is he doing here?! Did he break in?! He must have broken in…
“What are you doing here?” Kim asked.
“Kim…” Adam looked shocked to see her, he stood up, so Kim backed away, she’d seen enough of this bastard to last her a lifetime.
“Don’t come any closer to me,” she warned, holding her hands up in defence.
“Kim – I – “
Kim cut him off with a sharp wave of her hand, “Don’t talk to me Adam… LIL!! LIL!!?!” she yelled. One of the twins started to cry from somewhere in the house.
“Where is Lily?” Kim snapped.
“In the kitchen,” Adam replied, “Please, don’t freak out…”
Kim ignored him, “LILY!!” she yelled.
“Shh,” Adam said, trying to get closer to her, he attempted to grab her arm.
“Get off me!” Kim screeched, turning away from him.
Trying her hardest to make sense of the situation, Kim searched the room with her eyes. What was Adam doing here? Why was he in Lily’s house when she’d said he never came in? Had he broken in? Had he let himself in? Lily would have allowed him to just waltz in here and let him watch her TV!
“I’m glad you’re here,” Adam said, “I’m so sorry about last night, it’s not how I wanted our meeting to go…”
Kim ignored him, eager to get out of there, she’d catch up with Lily later.
“I hope you’re not mad with Lily,” Adam went on, “I’m glad she’s decided to tell you the truth…”
Kim stopped in her tracks, what?
“She’s been so worried about you, that’s why she arranged all this… our ‘date’… she wants us to get everything out in the open, that’s if we’re ever to get over this and start being a family again… she has a friend at Count on Cupid…”
“What the hell are you talking about?!?” Kim shouted into his face, spitting at him.
“She hasn’t spoken to you yet…” he frowned, touching his forehead with his palmed, reprimanding himself.
What the hell was going on? Kim felt her anger flooding her, her heart was booming in her ears, her throat was tight and her jaw ached.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said he voice a low growl, “but I think you’d better leave…”
“And go where? I live here…”
“You’re lying!” Kim yelled, “Get out!”
“Kim, it’s been two years!!” Adam protested, “We need to move on, you need to move on!”
He was utterly calm, which only incensed Kim more.
“Need to move on? NEED TO MOVE ON?! Do you have any idea how hard this has been for me? I have no parents, no mother, because of you! I’ll never move on from this Adam Sabine, never.” Kim let her tears fall, she’d not cried as much as she had in this past month since the event itself.
“Phew, he’s finally asleep,” Lily entered the room and took in the scene before her.
“Kim what are you-“
“Lily!” Kim exclaimed, “What is he doing here?!” she pointed viciously at Adam.
Lily wiped her hands on the tea towel she was holding.
“I think you’d better sit down…” Lily said.
“Oh no,” Kim laughed bitterly and shook her head, “No, I don’t think so, he needs to leave!” she raised her voice at Adam.
“You need to move on!” Adam shouted suddenly and Kim covered her ears, blocking him out.
“Both of you, Shut up!” Lily May interrupted, “Kim, Adam is right, you need to get your feelings out in the open, it’s not healthy to keep them locked up, Adam is willing to talk to you about that night, to help you…”
“What are you- what are you talking about?” Kim asked her friend, “You know I hate him, you know I blame him for everything that happened that night, what is there to talk about? I despise this man!”
“We’re going to try again…” Lily blurted, she paused, she’d said too much, taking a deep breath she tried again. “We’re going to try and make our relationship work…”
Kim said nothing, for fear of regret.
“I’m sorry,” Adam said, “I know you hate me, I know you blame me for everything that’s wrong in your life, and I’m sorry. Please believe me when I say that if I could take it back, I would. I would never have left the house that night…”
Kim ignored him.
“You’ve betrayed me,” she said quietly to Lily whose face fell.
“You need to move on,” Lily said, attempting to hold her friend’s shoulders, “It’s time to move on.”
“NO!” Kim yelled, “I’ll never forget!!”
“You don’t have to forget!” Lily yelled back at her, shocking Kim into a silence which hung as thick and heavy as the storm clouds littering the summer sky.
Kim was stunned, Lily was usually so composed, she wasn’t used to seeing her like this.
“You don’t have to forget her, Kim! Nobody is asking you to do that, but you do have to move on! Your mother is gone! Talking to her at night will not bring her back, and blaming Adam forever will not bring her back!”
Still, Kim was silent, she let her tears fall.
“I’ve been here for you,” Lily said, “I’ll always be here for you, but holding onto all these negative feelings… it’s not healthy. Do you think your mother would want this?”
“You know nothing about what my mother would want…”
“Oh I think I do,” Lily said, “Have you forgotten that she was my best friend? That I’ve had to live with the fact that my husband knocked down and killed my best friend? My only friend?”
Kim knew she was right, Lily and Kim had only become close because of her mother’s death.
“You’re being selfish, Kim,” Adam started, and Lily raised her hand to silence him.
“This affects us all,” Lily said, “And you’re not the only one who has had a hard time here, we need to work this out.”
Kim shook her head, unable to believe what was occurring; she turned on her heel and exited the house feeling utterly, utterly betrayed and alone.
Kim felt a desperate ache inside her, she cried openly and freely, sobbing as she drove, letting her tears fall. They ran down her cheeks and dropped onto her knees, onto her arms- tickling her and prickling at her skin.
Lily… Adam…How could they be so… impassive about all this? Was she really being selfish?
Kim had no one, no one at all. How could they do this to her?
As she pulled into her drive, she shut off the engine and after pausing for a few moments she got out of her Honda.
The front door was unlocked, meaning Kye was home.
Knowing she could talk to Kye, she headed to the kitchen and saw he wasn’t there, so went upstairs – his bedroom door was open. Wiping her eyes quickly, she took a deep breath to compose herself and entered the room.
“Did you get the job-“ she cut off.
“Oh… sorry…” she whispered, but they didn’t hear her.
Kim exited the room and slowly slumped down against the wall of her bedroom.
Raising her eyes to the heavens, she sighed. If things weren’t so bad she’d almost have laughed – but no…
Kimberley Carbelle had had enough.