“You want a break?” I whisper urgently, I can hardly believe my ears.
“You want to get married?!”
“I thought that’s what you wanted?”
Maya frowns, “Yves, no… “
“No…” she shakes her head sadly, “I’m unhappy, Yves…”
“Obviously,” I say, “You really want a break?”
My heart is thumping in my chest and blood rushes in my ears, I can hardly bear to hear her say it again.
“Yes,” Maya nods, “Why would you think I wanted to get married?”
“You were so weird when I gave you the box with the car key in…”
Maya shakes her head, “I was weird because I was afraid you were going to propose…”
“I’m not ready, Yves.”
I stare down at my empty plate, “Can I ask why?”
Maya peers at me through her full lashes. “I can’t say…”
“You can… please…”
“You’re… you’re like a child…” Maya begins and I snort.
“A child?” I sneer.
Maya glances at me pointedly and I realise she thinks my response only strengthens her claim.
“Yes,” she says, “A child. Yves, you have no concept of what it is to be an adult. You waste your time writing when you could have a proper job, you spend what little money you manage to save on pointless things like a car we don’t need… you can’t see when you’ve done wrong and all our arguments end with sex… we’re not teenagers anymore!”
“We’re only 20!”
“So? You act like a sixteen year old and I can’t deal with it anymore.”
Frowning I chuck my napkin onto my plate and fold my arms.
“Look at you!” Maya gestures at my slouched posture, my child-like demeanour.
“Was everything OK for you?” the waiter appears at the side of our table and I stare daggers at him.
Turning to Maya, he ignores me and decides to speak to her instead.
“Yes, thanks, it was lovely,” Maya smiles up at him.
“My pleasure,” the waiter takes our plates and departs.
“So, how long for?” I ask Maya once he’s gone.
Maya shrugs and stands, pulling her jacket from the back of her chair. “A while…” she responds, putting on her coat and rearranging her hair.
“A while?” I sit up, “is this your way of breaking up…?”
“I don’t know…”
Maya bends down and retrieves her clutch purse.
“I’ll see you around, Yves,” she says and I sit there gawping pathetically at her departing back – wondering what on earth has just happened.
“Well, I think it’s safe to say you’re doomed,” Fin bounces Owen on his knee who glances up at his father adoringly.
“Well, thanks for the vote of confidence,” I mutter glumly, despite the fact that same thought has already entered my mind.
“Tell me you don’t think the same…” Fin says.
“Meh,” I manage, I rub my face.
It’s Monday evening. I’ve heard nothing from Maya and I feel like utter crap. I miss her like crazy… her smell, her smile, her inability to open jam jars and her quiet murmurs whilst she sleeps… her chiding at my failure to place dirty clothes in the hamper… everything.
“I just don’t know what to do…” I say, “I can’t even begin to imagine what my life would be like without her… I love her so much…”
I frown, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Seriously dude, you’re weird with her… I can see you think you love her, but you’re always gawping at her like she’s a piece of meat…”
“Sorry man, but yeah, seriously.”
Now don’t get me wrong, I love Fin like a brother – since we left school he’s become my best friend – but he’s been known to seriously tick me off on many occasion. He’s incredibly blunt and straight to the point – there’s no grey area, only black and white.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Fin smirks, taking note of my scowl, “I don’t doubt you think you love her, but, well, I think its lust…”
Clearly he has no idea what he’s talking about.
I don’t respond, I check my iPhone for the hundredth time.
“Listen, my parents have a house up in Sunlit Tides… why don’t you go there and chill out… treat it like a writers retreat – get some stuff written, clear your head with the sea air and come back when you’re ready…”
I know Fin is loaded, and I don’t doubt that this house he’s offering me will be absolutely stunning… but I don’t know how I feel about leaving Maybury at this crucial time… how am I suppose to win Maya back when she’s over five thousand miles away?
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” Fin says as if reading my mind.
I shrug… “Nah, I don’t think so, plus I want to keep an eye on her around that Rueben dude…”
Fin snorts, “Seriously, there’s nothing you can do there… the dude’s like a god to women or something… even Bee admitted he’s hot…”
Fin shrugs dismissively, “It’s true, come on, he is hot…”
“What? I’m just saying… I appreciate his good looks… still, I’m not threatened, and I’m clearly a sex god… Bee loves me and I’m secure… so what if she wants to perve on that loser? Hot he may be, but he’s a total dickhead…”
I frown, “I just don’t trust him…”
“If you trust Maya then you have nothing to worry about… and if you don’t, well then you really do have a problem…”
- 01 The First Degree – Yves Black (saffize.wordpress.com)
- 02 The First Degree – Yves Black (saffize.wordpress.com)
- 03 The First Degree – Yves Black (saffize.wordpress.com)